Spring Cleaning Drabble Collection
by SrslyNo
Summary: Did a late spring cleaning and found these drabbles. Most are unrelated to each other so there's something for everyone: angst, humor, and fluff.


**A/N: These are arranged from the darkest to the lightest.**** If you can get past the first one, you will do fine. **** Definite fluff starts with number three, "Ow!"**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**I. Understudy**

Wilson sat in a hotel room watching the night sky.

He reflected on the "God complex"—what doctors were constantly accused of in malpractice cases.

House suited the role—playing God with patients, and in his own life. Taking pills. Sticking knives in electrical sockets.

Maybe that's why Wilson admired him.

Privately, he always thought death fascinating. The field of oncology was tailor fit for him. He felt comfortable constantly siding with the Angel of Mercy. Prolonging but sometimes speeding an inevitable death.

Wilson smiled. Tonight he'd play God.

He popped the cap on the amber vial.

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_**(The following pair go together.) **_

**II****A. Letting Godot**

A voice droned,_"Ash."_

Tonight the winter solstice, the heart of winter, black velvet before evening.

Air and light fought with gravity.

Wilson observed the waiting room.

People came. People went.

"_Mann."_

An assembly room meant for dispersing.

"_Cruz."_

A woman fingered beads.

"_Byrne."_

A man chanted, "Shema Yisrael…"

Why are they here? It's not--

"_Abraham."_

—a church or temple.

Vice-like pressure clutched at his arm, dragging him away.

"_Wils—"_

A demanding voice broke in, "Wilson!"

"_Wilson!"_

"God damnit! Stay with me!

"_WILSON!"_

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…

"Charge! Clear!"

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…

"Again!!"

***

"House?"

"You beat my record by seventy-nine seconds. See anything?"

"…"

"Did you?!"

"No."

*** *** ***

**IIB. Downside Up**

Upside down, or downside up. Everything felt that way lately.

At last, the sunlight took revenge on the night—the same way House delighted in Wilson's physical therapy. "Keep up, Wilson. Once more, around the block."

When did earth swap gravity with Saturn? Wilson decided that his legs felt heavy because he was trudging through its rings of debris.

It was either walk or talk, but somehow he managed to do both. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?

A half-step ahead House cryptically replied, "You'll never know."

Some of the rubble dropped away as Wilson decoded the message.

_**

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**_

**III. Ow!**

House flung open Wilson's office door in time to hear a smothered "Ow!" come from under the desk.

Wilson soon appeared, his eyes slightly unfocused, one hand clutching a hot dog without a bun. He settled back into his chair, dropped the frankfurter into the abandoned roll, and wiped his hands on a nearby napkin.

"Seeing stars?" House asked, stepping forward, running his fingers through Wilson's hair.

"Right now, I'm seeing Mt. Fuji." Wilson answered dryly, his eyes level with House's crotch.

"So am I, but it's growing out of your head," House replied.

After a moment of concerned silence, House stole a kiss and pronounced, "You'll live."

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**IV. Spash**

A splash. A cry of "God Almighty! Man overboard!" and the sound of one man hiccupping madly with laughter.

A lifejacketed Wilson bobbed in the water, glaring at House. His upper arms akimbo, hands disappearing under the water, most likely seeking his hips.

Back on deck, that was definitely how he stood, clothes soaked, hair clamped to his forehead.

"This wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you!" Wilson bit back a roar.

"Who wears leather dress shoes on a boat?"

"Who throws away all my athletic shoes before a fishing trip, and places their tackle box in a slippery puddle of water?!"

Wilson pivoted, and squished while walking away.

House appreciatively watched the figure--wet jeans tightly hugging legs and butt.

He'd try a variation on the tackle box with his cane after Wilson dried out.

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**V. After this Commercial Announcement**

Behind one beer to House's four, Wilson's faster reaction time gained him control of the TiVo's remote.

Amazing how well-engineered, smooth, and good it felt in his hand.

For the most part House approved of the programming, but his attention was aroused when Wilson halted for an Electrolux commercial…then watched again. A regatta of appliances sailed by: refrigerators, washers, dryers, and dishwashers.

"Revisiting the domestic treasures you lost in your last divorce settlement?" House questioned.

"Actually, looking for the vacuum cleaner. You know, the canister? My mother had one. Dragged it throughout the house."

"Until she had surgery and had it removed."

Wilson's lip twitched, but he controlled his smile and ignored the barb. "Had great sucking action too. Want me to demonstrate?"

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**VI. To Boldly Go**

"Is this a date, House? Because this feels like a date." Wilson waved his plastic spoon to emphasize his point before scraping the flimsy utensil over the heaping mound of ice cream, depositing another mouthful of coffee chip onto his tongue.

"Can't two guys go out to see _Star Trek_ and grab ice cream afterwards without it being a date?" House said in a reasonable voice, his eyes innocent as his tongue swiped his cone of chocolate raspberry like a stripper swirling around a pole.

By the time they walked back to Wilson's car, they discovered that their favorite flavor was mocha raspberry chip.

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**Thanks for reading! Comments welcome.**


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